everythings done. just dont talk to me anymore i can’t take it.

I cannot even do the one thing i love anymore to express myself.
I have created a monster of the person everyone wants me to be.
I wish i could take back every nasty thing i’ve said.
I’ve done a lot of really ugly things.
I broke my family, and ill never get them back.
They say im a pathological liar.
They don’t want to help me.
They only want to judge me.
They could easily understand me, after all no one is like this with no explanation.
I spoke fallen on my family,
Things were stretched.
But they really aren’t all bad, it was just the anger built up in me.
My father raised me well- and i dont know how i turned out like this from it.
He never hurt me other than emotionally.
I am bitter about being this way.
But i take back every single thing that was ever written here about them.
and everything i ever said.
I will never have them back,
but i will never speak on them again.
Im sorry, but i am a delusional liar in terms of my family.
Nothing is true.
I just want to be okay,
with that i need them to forgive me, or atleast forget me and stay away.